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Feed The Soul

March 13, 2011 By Martha Wright

When I was in grade school, I did my level best to stay home ‘sick’ whenever I could. The desire often coincided with an exam I was unprepared for, a paper I hadn’t written or homework I hadn’t completed. I was a classic underachiever. However there were also times when I just wanted to be home- safe in my own bed. My mother, on the other hand, did her level best to make staying home, ‘sick’ or not, a fairly miserable experience. “If you think you are going to stay home and watch ‘Leave it to Beaver’ all day, you are sorely mistaken” was her mantra. She firmly believed I was lying, and to be fair, half the time, she was right.

There are days when I want to wallow in a total lack of productivity. I don’t want to exercise. I don’t want to get my mail. I definitely don’t want o read the newspaper. I want to stay in sweat pants, stay in my house and watch old movies. While I will brush my teeth (I have my standards) I will not shower or wash my hair. I want to disconnect from the world. There are many friends who would tell me that this is my souls desire to power down and recharge. That I need to give myself permission to be lazy. I see it differently though. I see it not as feeding my soul, but feeding my dysfunction.

If you take it down to it’s essence, there are really two pure emotions: love and fear. Love is expanding, connecting, opening, and freeing. Love has nothing to do with safety. Love is risky and exposing. When you choose love you may feel fear, and resistance. Fear is shrinking, separating, shutting down and imprisoning. Fear has nothing to do with risk. When you are choosing fear you may feel relief and calmness. So how do you know whether you are choosing love or fear? The answer lies in your personal vision. Whatever your self-vision is, love moves you closer to it. Fear moves you further away. When fear is indulged, you are choosing the hiding place of familiarity. Perpetual hiding creates dysfunction.

So, back to me. My personal vision is to live a connected life. This might be a bit challenging for a self professed hermit, but the truth is I feel joy when I connect to people in a deep way, and sad when I spend too much time alone. This is not to say you should never take a break from your vision. It may even be important if only to remind you how shallow and unfulfilling your momentary wants can be. But as a life parable to live on a regular basis:

Feed your soul

Starve the dysfunction

Martha Wright is a Life Coach and seminar leader with over 20 years experience designing and teaching life skills in Fortune 500 companies around the world. She lives in Princeton NJ. Follow her on Face book and twitter. https://www.wrightlifecoach.com.

Moderated by Martha Wright.

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